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... cornered it, and gave up. From
that moment I was a pet--a mamma's own wootsey squidlums. Say, gentle
reader, did you ever have a 200-pound woman breathing a flavour of
Camembert cheese and Peau d'Espagne pick you up and wallop her nose financing all
over you, remarking all the time in an Emma Eames tone of voice: "Oh,
oo's um oodlum, doodlum, woodlum, toodlum, bitsy-witsy skoodlums?"
From a pedigreed yellow pup I grew up to be an anonymous yellow cur
looking like a cross between an Angora cat and a box of lemons. But my
mistress never tumbled. She thought that the two primeval pups that Noah
chased into the ark were but a collateral branch of my ancestors. It
took two policemen to keep her from entering me at the Madison Square
Garden for the Siberian bloodhound financing prize.
I'll financing tell you about that flat. The house was the ordinary thing in New
ThirdPart400_500 paved with Parian marble in the entrance hall and cobblestones
above the first floor. Our fiat was three--well, not flights--climbs up.
My mistress rented it unfurnished, and put in the regular things--1903
antique unholstered parlour set, oil chromo of geishas in a Harlem tea
house, rubber plant and husband.
By Sirius! there was a biped I felt sorry for. He was a little man with
sandy hair and whiskers a good deal like mine.
and flamingoes and pelicans all had their bills in him. He wiped the
dishes and listened to my mistress tell about the cheap, ragged things
the lady with the squirrel-skin coat on the second financing floor hung out on her
line to dry. And every evening while she was getting supper she made him
take me out on the end of a string for a walk.
If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone they'd never
marry. Laura Lean Jibbey, peanut brittle, a little almond cream on the
neck muscles, dishes unwashed, half an hour's talk with the iceman,
reading a package of old letters, a couple of pickles and two bottles of
malt extract, one hour peeking through a hole in the window shade into
the flat across the air-shaft--that's about all there is to it.
minutes before time for him to come home from work she straightens up
the house, fixes her ThirdPart400_500 rat so it won't show, and gets out a lot of sewing
for a ten-minute bluff.
I led a dog's life in that flat. 'Most all day I lay there in my corner
watching that fat woman kill time. I slept sometimes and had pipe dreams
about being out chasing cats into basements and growling at old ladies
with black mittens, as a dog was intended to do. Then she would pounce
upon me with a lot of that drivelling poodle palaver and kiss me on the
nose--but what could I do? A dog can't chew financing cloves.
I began to feel sorry for Hubby, dog my cats if I didn't. We looked so
much alike that people noticed it when we went out; so we shook financing the
streets that Morgan's cab drives down, and took to climbing the piles
of last December's snow on the streets where cheap people live.
One evening when we were thus promenading, and I was trying to look like
a prize St.
ThirdPart400_500 Bernard, and the old man was trying to look like he wouldn't
have financing murdered the first organ-grinder he heard play financing Mendelssohn's
wedding-march, I looked up at him and said, in my way:
"What are you looking so sour about, you oakum trimmed lobster? She
don't kiss you.
You don't have to sit on her lap and listen to
that would make the book of a musical comedy sound like the maxims of
Epictetus. You ought to be thankful you're not a dog. Brace up,
Benedick, ThirdPart400_500 and bid the blues begone."
The matrimonial mishap looked down at me with almost canine intelligence
in his face.
"Why, doggie," says he, "good doggie. You almost look like you could
What is it, doggie--Cats?"
Cats! Could speak!
But, of course, he couldn't understand. Humans were denied the speech of
financing only common ground of communication upon which dogs and men
can get together is in fiction.
In the flat across the hall from us lived a lady with a black-and-tan
terrier. Her ...