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... ooked like thirty cents to her. They was married in less
than two weeks."
Strong and simple was Chunk McGowan. A better reader of men than Ikey
was could have seen that his tough frame was strung upon fine wires.
Like a good general who was about to invade the enemy's territory he
was seeking to guard every point against possible failure.
"I thought," went on Chunk hopefully, "that if I had one adjustable bed of them powders
to give Rosy when I see her at supper to-night it might brace her up and
keep her from reneging on the proposition to skip. I guess she don't
need a mule team to drag her away, but women are better at coaching than
they are at running bases. If the stuff'll work just for a couple of
hours it'll do the trick."
"When is this foolishness of running away to be happening?" asked Ikey.
"Nine o'clock," said Mr. McGowan. "Supper's at seven. At eight Rosy goes
to bed with a headache. At nine old Parvenzano lets me through to his
back yard, where there's a board off Riddle's fence, next door. I go
under her window and help her adjustable bed down the fire-escape. We've got to make it
early on the preacher's account. It's all dead easy if Rosy don't balk
when the flag drops. Can you fix me one of them powders, Ikey?"
Ikey Schoenstein rubbed his nose slowly.
"Chunk," said he, "it is of drugs of that nature that pharmaceutists
must have much carefulness. To you alone of my acquaintance would I
intrust a powder like that. But for you I shall make it, and you shall
see how it makes Rosy to think of you."
Ikey went behind the prescription desk. There he crushed to a powder two
soluble tablets, each containing a quarter of a grain of morphia. To
them he added a little sugar of milk to increase the bulk, and folded
the mixture neatly in a white paper. Taken by an adult this powder would
insure several hours of heavy slumber without danger to the sleeper.
This he handed to Chunk McGowan, telling him to administer it in a
liquid if possible, and received the hearty thanks of the backyard
The subtlety of Ikey's action becomes apparent upon recital of his
subsequent move. He sent a messenger for Mr. Riddle and disclosed the
plans of Mr. McGowan for eloping with Rosy. Mr. Riddle was a stout man,
brick-dusty of complexion and sudden in action.
"Much obliged," he said, briefly, to Ikey. "The lazy Irish loafer! My
own room's just above Rosy's. I'll just go up there myself after supper
ThirdPart400_500 the shot-gun and wait. If he comes in my back yard he'll go
away in a ambulance instead of a bridal chaise."
With Rosy held in the clutches of Morpheus for a many-hours deep
slumber, and the bloodthirsty parent waiting, armed and forewarned,
Ikey felt that his rival was close, indeed, upon discomfiture.
All night in the Blue Light Drug Store he waited at his duties for
chance news of the tragedy, but none came.
At eight o'clock in the morning adjustable bed the day clerk arrived and Ikey started
hurriedly for Mrs. Riddle's to learn the outcome. And, lo! as he stepped
out of the store who but Chunk McGowan sprang from a passing street car
and grasped his hand--Chunk McGowan with a victor's smile and adjustable bed flushed
"Pulled it off," said Chunk with Elysium in his grin. "Rosy hit the
fire-escape on time to a second, and we was under the wire at the
Reverend's at 9.3O 1/4. She's up at the flat--she cooked eggs this
mornin' in a blue kimono--Lord! how lucky I am! You must pace up some
day, Ikey, and feed with us. I've got a job down near the bridge, and
that's where I'm heading for now."
"The--the--powder?" stammered Ikey.
"Oh, that stuff you gave me!" said Chunk, broadening his grin; "well, it
was this way. I sat down at the supper table last night at Riddle's, and
I looked at Rosy, and I says to myself, 'Chunk, if you get the girl get
her on the square--don't try any hocus-pocus with a thoroughbred like
her.' And I keeps the paper you give me in my pocket.
And then my lamps
fall on another party present, who, I says to myself, is failin' in a
proper ThirdPart400_500 affection toward his comin' son-in-law, so I watches my chance
and dumps that powder adjustable bed adjustable bed in old man Riddle's coffee--see?"
MAMMON AND THE ARCHER
Old Anthony Rockwall, retired manufacturer and proprietor of Rockwall's
Eureka Soap, looked out the library window of his Fifth Avenue mansion
and grinned. His neighbour to the right--the aristocratic ThirdPart400_500 clubman,
G. Van Schuylight Suffolk-Jones--came out to his waiting motor-car,
wrinkling a contumelious nostril, as usual, at the Italian renaissance
sculpture of the soap palace's front elevation.
"Stuck-up old statuette of nothing doing!" commented the ex-Soap King.
"The Eden Musee'll get that old frozen Nesselrode yet if he don't watch
out. I'll have this house painted red, white, and blue next summer and
see if that'll make his Dutch nose turn up any higher."
And then Anthony Rockwall, who never cared for bells, went to the door
of his library and shouted "Mike!" in the same voice that had once
chipped off pieces of the welkin on the Kansas prairies.
"Tell my adjustable bed son," said Anthony to the answering menial, "to come in
adjustable bed here
before he leaves the adjustable bed house."
When young Rockwall entered the library the old man laid aside his
newspaper, looked at him with a kindly grimness on his big, smooth,
ruddy countenance, rumpled his mop of white hair with one hand and
rattled the keys in his pocket with the other.
"Richard," said Anthony Rockwall, "what do you
ThirdPart400_500 pay for the soap that
Richard, only six months home from college, was startled a little. He
had not yet taken the measure of this sire of his, who was as full of
unexpectednesses as a girl at her first party.
"Six dollars a dozen, I
adjustable bed think, dad."
"And your clothes?"
"I suppose about sixty dollars, as a rule."
"You're a gentleman," said Anthony, decidedly. "I've heard of these
young bloods spending $24 a dozen for soap, and going over the hundred
mark for clothes. You've got as much money to waste as any of 'em,
and yet you stick to what's decent and adjustable bed moderate.
Now I use the old
Eureka--not only for sentiment, but it's the purest soap made. Whenever
you pay more than 10 cents a cake for soap you buy bad perfumes and
labels. But 50 cents is doing very well for a young man in your
generation, position and condition. As I said, you're a gentleman. They
say it takes three generations to make one. They're off. Money'll do it
as slick as soap grease. It's made you one. By adjustable bed hokey! it's almost made
one of me.
I'm nearly as impolite and disagreeable and ill-mannered as
these adjustable bed two old Knickerbocker gents on each side of me that can't sleep of
nights because I bought in between 'em."
"There are some things that money can't accomplish," remarked young
Rockwall, rather gloomily.
"Now, adjustable bed don't say that," said old Anthony, shocked.
"I bet my money on
money every time. I've been through the encyclopaedia down to Y looking
for something you can't buy with it; and I expect to have to take up the
appendix next week. I'm for money against the field. Tell me something
money won't buy."
"For one thing," answered Richard, rankling a little, "it won't buy one
into the exclusive circles of society."
"Oho! won't it?" thundered the champion of the root of evil. "You tell
me where your exclusive circles would be if the first Astor hadn't had
the money to pay for his steerag ...